Magic City Dad

Meet the Cast:

2009-02-15T15:03:00.012-06:00

There are three main characters in this crazy play we call Life:
In order of importance.....

(1) Leslie AKA "WIFEY"
The glue that holds those crazy eyes to the piece of construction paper. The cream cheese to my families bagel. The isle seat in an emergency exit row to my life's coach ticket.
In other words, she's awesome in a Whoa! kinda way.

(2) Abby AKA "TINY-TINY CRAZY BABY"
Abby just turned two and she's the reason my life consists of bottles and bouncy seats rather than beers and bars. And, as much as I hate to admit it, she's worth it (most of the time).

(3) Baby Mac AKA "DEUCE"
Kid number two is one the way and will make his/her debut in late July. Keep on growin' kid! See ya soon!

(4) John AKA "ME"
I'm a 20-something lawyer who wishes he were more athletic and outgoing. I love my back porch and care way too much about being right! If my kids do read this in a long, long time, I'll be guy who admits to trying to embarrass you every time I drive you through the drop-off line of middle school!

Why Bolg??

2009-02-15T14:53:00.002-06:00

Good Question? I have resisted for a long time because I have never thought that (a) anyone would care enough to sit at a computer and read about me and (b) I don't consider myself to be an expert on much of anything. But, lucky for me I am as fickle as they come and have changed my mind about both.

(a) I have decided that I care enough about me and my family to read about me. Like a lot of people these days, I am going to use this blog as a way to document my family's life. That's worth reading right? Even if it is dozens of years later. I love to look at my grandma's picture albums from years ago, so I guess this is my 21st century family photo album with long captions.

(b) I didn't believe that I knew enough about anything to be able to educate another person until I thought about what my life consisted of. It's pretty simple really. I work, I play, I family. The work part is boring, so, not only do I not know enough to write about it, but I don't want to. The play and family have begun to meld together. That I know about!

So I dedicate this space to those people who care about what's its like to try and have a family and a life in Birmingham, AL.

Enjoy!

Contenment is for Dogs

2009-02-13T09:26:00.000-06:00

I recently helped my great aunt and uncle celebrate their 50th anniversary! (Congrats Nan and Jim). The party was small and included only family who lived in the area. This provided me an opportunity to spend time with my cousins, both younger and older, who I don't see enough of.

I have two older cousins who are essentially an aunt and uncle to me. I also have six younger cousins ranging from senior in college to middle school. Without Allison there, Leslie and I were the sole representatives from the post-college 20-something crowd.

After a fabulous dinner and a slide show celebrating my Nina and Bobo, the family started to talk. Not, about football or music or even the guests of honor. No, this conversation was about real emotions. It began as a generic conversion regarding whether I liked my new job as a lawyer. It quickly morphed into a patient/therapist session where I was opening up like the red sea.

My family tried diligently and lovingly to help me realize that wherever you are in life will shape where you will eventually end up. I quickly conceded that point. It was not my concern. It is easy to see that in life, the end justifies the means. My concern was, why do the means always have to suck?

I heard a lot of good advice as well as some that made me a bit anxious. I was told at one point, as I complained about perhaps not being certain of my career choice, the "contentment is for dogs." What?? Am I not entitled to be content? I understand that we should all strive to acheive more, but I hope that I am able to appreciate where I am in the short term.

I learned quickly that I am truly jealous of those people who LOVE what they do. It is something you hear from elementary school. Make a career out of your passion. I may sound sennicle, but it's not that easy.

I was also told that you sleep 1/3 of your life, you work 1/3 of your life and you have 1/3 of your life to do with it what you want. My wise, priest of an uncle (literally) said that if you are happy in your extra 1/3 of your life, that that attitude can carry over into the work 1/3. He suggested concentrating on family and spirit and allowing those aspects of life to fill the gaps created through a less than fulfilling job. To this I had to agree. I truly believe that attitude is contagious, both in your own life and from person to person. My only question to my uncle is, why does it not work both ways?

Wouldn't a positive outlook at work affect my attitude and fulfillment at home?

I left that night without any specific answer to one of my life's continuing questions. But, more than that, i left with a huge appreciation for my family. Even though we don't see each other more than a dozen times a year, I learned that they truly care about me and my life. More than a gift card a Christmas kind of caring, but a passionate hope kind of caring.

I have figured out how I will repay you..... As soon as I answer the unanswerable, I promise to reverse the roles of our nut/shrink relationship! Until then, your stuck with having to crack me open!

split personality

2009-02-03T16:45:00.000-06:00

Since i have recently moved back to Birmingham, I am finding that one of my biggest struggles in life stems from my lack of a defined identity. Individual identities may be obtained in a number of ways: frequent hobbies, political/religious views, careers, etc. In Alabama, however, one of the most defining aspects to a person's life is....... their college football team of choice.

Yes, college football team not just college.

For most people this is not an issue. You are simply a fan of the teams associated with your Alma-mater. My life is not that simple.

I am an Auburn graduate. I'm not sure i'm a "proud" Auburn graduate (another post for another day), but they did give me my undergraduate liberal arts, psychology degree. As such, most people, especially those with whom I went to Auburn, assume that I'm a fan of Auburn athletics. I'm not, nor I have ever been, a supporter of Auburn athletics.

Proudly I say that I am an Alabama fan. I have been for my entire life. I understand and follow Alabama athletics on a level bordering the insane. My love for the Crimson Tide should help define me. It doesn't because of my school/team split personality.

Because of this quirk, my life is infinitely harder than it should be. I have to remember which Auburn friends I have 'come out' to and which I must pretend to be an ally with. I'm sure that this makes others around me uncomfortable, because when I am with someone who understands my situation and someone who I am ashamed to admit it to, then no one knows whats going on.... especially me.

I have tried to distance myself from either my love for sport or my education, but neither of them will let go of me. I have almost succumb to the fact that as long as I live in Alabama, my life will forever have this cloud covering it. College association is simply too great to make it meaningless in my life.

Oh well, I guess I'm stuck with my bipolar collegiate lifestyle.

Roll Tide!

happy to be a doer!

2009-01-30T16:07:00.000-06:00

What's a doer?
Well it's not me. I'm a "wish I was doing".
There are certainly more than just these two categories, but I'm proud to be changing my designation. For far too long, I have waited on things to happen to me. I am constantly wishing that my life would be altered by someone else! That's just plain silly.

Why have I been waiting on the world to change me? I am going to change me! (hopefully for the better)

My wife has a lot to do with this change in attitude. She is great about calling me out. No one else I know does that. I think that's why she's great for me. I have many glarring flaws that no one ever points out.... except her. I challenge all those who read this to call me out when I'm not being a doer, or anything else you find unappealing.

We need this in our lives. I need this in my life. Others know who we truly are because they only see our 'doing' side. I have a skewed image of myself because I know the 'wish i was doing' side of myself. I am constantly imaging how thing could be or should be. Others (that's you wifey) see what is! And, as much as I have been avoiding the truth, the is part of myself is the true, real, actual, human me.

So....... what does all that psycho-bs mean in my life?
1. I am going to be honest with myself. My first attempt is this blog. I am very good at becoming a chameleon in different situations. So much so that I fear I don't have niche. I want a niche. Perhaps if I can be honest with blogspot, then I can eventually be honest with those around me. Only then will I ever be able to be honest with myself.

2. I'm ganna do! I have a horrible habbit of wishing and not doing. So much so, that my yard has not been raked. Why? Because rather than grabbing a damn rake, I simply watch E-tonight and wish my yard were clear. That, again, is just silly.
The key here is accountability. Self-Accountability is crap, i'm convinced of that. I can tell myself all day that I need to clean the dishes because that's what should be done. It's not until I think, I need to clean the dishes because my wife will be appreicative that I actually do it. Somehow that accountability works for me. Nothing was said, nothing was done, a simple desire to make anothers life better, hopefully while recognizing what I have done, makes me want to be a get into action. I have no idea why 'making my own life better' does not have the same affect. Oh well.

FYI - to all my fans, but more importantly, to myself. This blog is going to be my ture and public diary. It is my attempt at the concept of self-accountability, which I have already admitted isn't very powerful.

Good luck to me and my future attempts at becoming a doer.